Marriage is for quitters. Children are for losers.

"Why are you getting married?"

This is a fun question to field from a 30-something year-old disenchanted married man. I got a few of these snide remarks and a few of my buddies shared similar experiences during their engagements. Nothing like an regretfully married man trying to talk some sense into you. Maybe they are right. Why should a youngster get married? I mean, hey, why not wait till you're in your mid-30's, climb the corporate ladder, get established, see the world, figure out who you are (for the record i really hate that phrase), and then settle down. "Settling" seems precisely to be what most the world thinks marriage is.

Yes folks, I have given up. That's it. I just tried my hardest, but I figured marriage is the easy way out. Is that why people really think I would get married before 25? Hey I'm just getting started here! Marriage isn't the end of the road but the beginning.

Our problem today is that we are so incredibly self-absorbed that we have forgotten how to love. We only love ourselves in the sense that we only want what will make us feel good. We live in the United States of Narcissism. This is why Oprah is not my role model. Her credo is "It's time to feel good." Go ahead, eat that whole gallon of ice cream, do your yoga, read "What Color is your parachute." We are so self-centered that we cannot go from self-help to helping others. How can we love others if we cannot take our eyes off of ourselves?

Marriage is not about seeking to make yourself happy. It's about seeking to make your spouse happy. Yes, when you first meet someone, your motives are selfish. She's hot. She's funny. You like the way she makes you feel when you are around her. But as you grow closer together, you get to the point where if you love her, you will act as to please her. This is why marriage is difficult, because it's hard to put another before yourself. And this is why marriage is unthinkable to many today, because they cannot image putting another first. Further, they cannot see how self-sacrifice could actually be more fulfilling then watching Oprah elbow-deep in Sour Cream and Cheddar Lays. If the initial attraction and love never matures to a self-sacrificing true love, then there cannot be happiness, but only a bitter attitude that makes you see a young guy at his bachelor party and gripe at him, "Why you getting married?"

Marital love is meant to be self giving. And this is where children come from. A total gift of self gives new life. It is out of love that a life can come and this is a new opportunity to love. A child is not the answer to loneliness, that's what cat's are for. A child is meant to be nourished by a mother and father. Parents should be excited at the possibility of creating new life. What a great opportunity! What a blessing! Instead, kids today are those little things that prevent you from going out to bars late, from midnight screenings of Star Wars episode 98, from playing video games till 4 am. "He has no life," because he can't stay out late. Why can't his life be raising a new life? Instead of being thrilled to have the chance to raise kids we are disgruntled that we are being taken away from Grey's Anatomy and Halo. What a shame. Get over yourself .